Sahifa Sajjadiya 53: Abasing Himself Before God

فَلاَ حُجَّةَ لِي، فَأَنَا الأَسِيـرُ بِبَلِيَّتِي،

fa-lā ḥujjata lī, fa-ana l-asīru bi-baliyyatī,

so I have no argument (or plea), for I am the captive of my affliction,

الْمُـرْتَهَنُ بِعَمَلِي، الْمُتَرَدِّدُ فِي خَطِيئَتِي،

al-murtahanu bi-‘amalī, al-mutaraddidu fī khaṭī’atī,

the one held in pledge by my deed, the one faltering in my mistake,

الْمُتَحَيِّرُ عَنْ قَصْدِي، الْمُنْقَطَعُ بِي،

al-mutaḥayyiru ‘an qaṣdī, al-munqaṭa‘u bī,

the bewildered one away from my purpose, the one cut off (with no way out),

قَدْ أَوْقَفْتُ نَفْسِي مَوْقِفَ الأَذِلاَّءِ الْمُذْنِبِينَ،

Qad awqaftu nafsī mawqifa l-adhillā’i l-mudhnibīn,

I have surely made myself stand in the station of the humiliated sinners,

مَوْقِفَ الأَشْقِيآءِ الْمُتَجَرِّينَ عَلَيْكَ، الْمُسْتَخِفِّينَ بِوَعْدِكَ.

mawqiqa l-ashqiyā’i l-mutajarrīna ‘alayk, al-mustakhiffīna bi-wa‘dik.

the station of the wretched ones who dared against You, those who took Your promise lightly.

سُبْحَانَكَ! أَيَّ جُرْأَة اجْتَرَأْتُ عَلَيْكَ؟

Subḥānak! Ayyu jur’atin ijtar’tu ‘alayk?

Glory be to You! What daring did I dare against You?

وَأَيَّ تَغْرِير غَرَّرْتُ بِنَفْسِي

wa-ayya taghrīrin gharrartu bi-nafsī

And what deception did I deceive myself with?

مَوْلاَيَ إرْحَمْ كَبْوَتِيْ لِحُرِّ وَجْهِي،

Mawlāya irḥam kabwatī li-ḥurri wajhī,

My Master, have mercy on my fall (down) upon my noble face,

وَزَلَّةَ قَدَمِي، وَعُدْ بِحِلْمِكَ عَلَى جَهْلِي،

wa-zallata qadamī, wa-‘ud bi-ḥilmika ‘alā jahlī,

and the slip of my foot, and return with Your forbearance upon my ignorance,

وَبِإحْسَانِكَ عَلَى إسَآءَتِي، فَأَنَا الْمُقِرُّ بِذَنْبِي،

wa-bi-iḥsānik ‘alā isā’atī, fa-ana l-muqirru bi-dhanbī,

and with Your benevolence upon my wrongdoing, for I am the one confessing my sin,

الْمُعْتَرِفُ بِخَطِيئَتِي، وَهَذِهِ يَدِيْ وَنَاصِيَتِي،

al-mu‘tarifu bi-khaṭī’atī, wa-hādhihī yadī wa-nāṣiyatī,

the one acknowledging my mistake, and here is my hand and my forelock,

أَسْتَكِينُ بِالْقَـوْدِ مِنْ نَفْسِي .

astakīnu bi-l-qawdi min nafsī.

I humble myself to be led by myself (to submit to punishment).

إرْحَمْ شَيْبَتِي، وَنَفَادَ أَيَّامِي،

Irḥam shaybatī, wa-nafāda ayyāmī,

Have mercy on my gray hair, and the running out of my days,

وَاقْتِرَابَ أَجَلِي، وَضَعْفِي،

wa-qtirāba ajalī, wa-ḍa‘fī,

and the nearness of my term (of death), and my weakness,

وَمَسْكَنَتِي، وَقِلَّةَ حِيلَتِي.

wa-maskanatī, wa-qillata ḥīlatī.

and my wretchedness, and the fewness of my resourcefulness.

مَوْلاَيَ وَارْحَمْنِي إذَا انْقَطَعَ مِنَ الدُّنْيَا أَثَرِي،

Mawlāya wa-rḥamnī idhā nqaṭa‘a mina d-dunyā atharī,

My Master, and have mercy on me when my trace is cut off from the world,

وَامَّحى مِنَ الْمَخْلُوقِينَ ذِكْرِي،

wa-mmaḥā mina l-makhlūqīna dhikrī,

and my mention is wiped away from the creatures,

وَكُنْتُ فِي الْمَنْسِيِّينَ، كَمَنْ قَدْ نُسِيَ.

wa-kuntu fī l-mansiyyīn, ka-man qad nusī.

and I am among the forgotten, like one who has been forgotten.

مَوْلاَيَ وَارْحَمْنِي عِنْدَ تَغَيُّرِ صُورَتِي

Mawlāya wa-rḥamnī ‘inda taghayyuri ṣūratī

My Master, and have mercy on me when my form changes

وَحَالِي إذَا بَلِيَ جِسْمِي، وَتَفَرَّقَتْ أَعْضَائِي،

wa-ḥālī idhā baliya jismī, wa-tafarraqat a‘ḍā’ī,

and my state, when my body wears out, and my limbs disperse,

وَتَقَطَّعَتْ أَوْصَالِيْ، يا غَفْلَتِي عَمَّا يُرَادُ بِيَ.

wa-taqaṭṭa‘at awṣālī, yā ghaflatī ‘ammā yurādu biya.

and my joints are severed. Oh, my heedlessness concerning what is intended for me!

مَوْلاَيَ وَارْحَمْنِي فِي حَشْرِي وَنَشْرِي،

Mawlāya wa-rḥamnī fī ḥashrī wa-nashrī,

My Master, and have mercy on me at my gathering and resurrection,

وَاجْعَل فِي ذَلِكَ الْيَومِ مَعَ أَوْلِيَآئِكَ مَوْقِفِي،

wa-j‘al fī dhālika l-yawmi ma‘a awliyā’ika mawqifī,

and make my station on that Day with Your friends,

وَفِي أَحِبَّائِكَ مَصْدَرِي،

wa-fī aḥibbā’ik maṣdarī,

and my proceeding (or return) with Your beloved ones,

وَفِي جِوَارِكَ مَسْكَنِي يَا رَبَّ الْعَالَمِينَ.

wa-fī jiwārik maskanī yā Rabba l-‘Ālamīn.

and my dwelling place in Your vicinity, O Lord of the Worlds.

رَبِّ أَفْحَمَتْنِيْ ذُنُوبِي، وَانْقَطَعَتْ مَقَالَتِي،

rab-bi af-h'amat-nee d'unoobee wanqat'aa't maqaalatee

1.My Lord, my sins have silenced me, and my words have been cut off.

فَلاَ حُجَّةَ لِي، فَأَنَا الأَسِيـرُ بِبَلِيَّتِي،

falaa h'uj-jata lee faanaal-aseeru bibalee-yatee

2.I have no argument, for I am the prisoner of my own affliction,

الْمُـرْتَهَنُ بِعَمَلِي، الْمُتَرَدِّدُ فِي خَطِيئَتِي،

al-mur-tahanu bi 'malee al-mutarad-didu fee khat'ee-atee

3.the hostage to my works, the frequenter of my own offense,

الْمُتَحَيِّرُ عَنْ قَصْدِي، الْمُنْقَطَعُ بِي،

al-mutah'ay-yiru a'n qas'-dee al-munqat'iu' bee

4.the confused in my intended way, the thwarted.

قَدْ أَوْقَفْتُ نَفْسِي مَوْقِفَ الأَذِلاَّءِ الْمُذْنِبِينَ،

qad aw-qaf-tu naf-see maw-qifal-ad'il-laaa-il-mud'-nibeen

5.I have brought myself to a halt in the halting place of the abased sinners,

مَوْقِفَ الأَشْقِيآءِ الْمُتَجَرِّينَ عَلَيْكَ، الْمُسْتَخِفِّينَ بِوَعْدِكَ.

maw-qifal-ash-qeeaaa-il-mutajar-ri-eena a'lay-kal-mus-takhif-feena biwaa'-dik

6.the halting place of the wretched and insolent, those who think lightly of Your promise.

سُبْحَانَكَ! أَيَّ جُرْأَة اجْتَرَأْتُ عَلَيْكَ؟

sub-h'aanaka ay-ya jur-atin aj-taraa-tu a'lay-ka?

7.Glory be to You! What insolence I have insolently shown toward You!

وَأَيَّ تَغْرِير غَرَّرْتُ بِنَفْسِي

wa ay-ya tagh-reerin ghar-rar-tu binaf-see?

8.What delusion with which I have deluded myself!

مَوْلاَيَ إرْحَمْ كَبْوَتِيْ لِحُرِّ وَجْهِي،

maw-laaya ar-h'am- kab-watee lih'ur-ri waj-hee

9.My Master, have mercy on my falling flat on my face

وَزَلَّةَ قَدَمِي، وَعُدْ بِحِلْمِكَ عَلَى جَهْلِي،

wa zal-lata qadamee wa u'd bh'il-mika a'laa jah-lee

10.the slipping of my foot, grant me my ignorance through Your clemency,

وَبِإحْسَانِكَ عَلَى إسَآءَتِي، فَأَنَا الْمُقِرُّ بِذَنْبِي،

wa biih'-saanika a'laaa isaaa-atee faanaal-muqir-ru bid'ambee

11.and my evildoing through Your beneficence, for I admit my sin

الْمُعْتَرِفُ بِخَطِيئَتِي، وَهَذِهِ يَدِيْ وَنَاصِيَتِي،

al-mua'-tarifu bikhat'ee-atee wa hd'ihee yadee wa naas'eeatee

12.and I confess my offense: Here are my hand and my forelock!

أَسْتَكِينُ بِالْقَـوْدِ مِنْ نَفْسِي .

as-takeenu bil-qawadi min-naf-see

13.I am resigned to retaliation against my soul!

إرْحَمْ شَيْبَتِي، وَنَفَادَ أَيَّامِي،

ir-h'am shay-batee wa nafaada ay-yaamee

14.Have mercy on my white hair, the depletion of my days,

وَاقْتِرَابَ أَجَلِي، وَضَعْفِي،

waq-tiraaba ajalee wa z''aa'-fee

15.the nearing of my term, my frailty,

وَمَسْكَنَتِي، وَقِلَّةَ حِيلَتِي.

wa mas-kanatee wa qil-lata h'eelatee

16.my misery, and the paucity of my stratagems!

مَوْلاَيَ وَارْحَمْنِي إذَا انْقَطَعَ مِنَ الدُّنْيَا أَثَرِي،

maw-laaya war-h'am-neee id'aa anqat'aa' minad-dunyaaa atharee

17.My Master, and have mercy upon me when my trace is cut off from this world,

وَامَّحى مِنَ الْمَخْلُوقِينَ ذِكْرِي،

wam-mah'aa minal-makh-looqeena d'ik-ree

18.my mention is effaced among the creatures,

وَكُنْتُ فِي الْمَنْسِيِّينَ، كَمَنْ قَدْ نُسِيَ.

wa kuntu fil-mansee-yeena kaman qad nusee

19.and I join the forgotten, like the forgotten ones!

مَوْلاَيَ وَارْحَمْنِي عِنْدَ تَغَيُّرِ صُورَتِي

maw-laaya war-h'am-nee i'nda taghay-yuri s'ooratee

20.My Master, and have mercy upon me at the change of my form and state

وَحَالِي إذَا بَلِيَ جِسْمِي، وَتَفَرَّقَتْ أَعْضَائِي،

wa h'aalee id'aa baleea jis-mee wa tafar-raqat aa'-z''aaa-ee

21.when my body decays, my limbs are scattered,

وَتَقَطَّعَتْ أَوْصَالِيْ، يا غَفْلَتِي عَمَّا يُرَادُ بِيَ.

wa taqat'-t'aa't aw-s'aalee yaa ghaf-latee a'm-maa yuraadu bee

22.and my joints are dismembered! O my heedlessness toward what was wanted from me!

مَوْلاَيَ وَارْحَمْنِي فِي حَشْرِي وَنَشْرِي،

maw-laaya war-h'amnee fee h'ash-ree wa nash-ree

23.My Master, have mercy upon me at my mustering and uprising

وَاجْعَل فِي ذَلِكَ الْيَومِ مَعَ أَوْلِيَآئِكَ مَوْقِفِي،

waj-a'l fee d'alikal-yawmi maa' aw-leeaaa-ika maw-qifee

24.and on that day, appoint my standing place with Your friends,

وَفِي أَحِبَّائِكَ مَصْدَرِي،

wa feee ah'ib-baaa-ika mas'-daree

25.my place of emergence with Your beloveds,

وَفِي جِوَارِكَ مَسْكَنِي يَا رَبَّ الْعَالَمِينَ.

wa fee jiwaarika mas-kanee yaa rab-bal-a'alameen

26.and my dwelling in Your neighbourhood! O Lord of the worlds!